Be open to new traditions

The morning air is crisp. The trees are starting to let go of their leaves, adorning the lawns that are mostly still green with breathtaking splashes of color — yellow, gold, red, and brown. The annual Punkin Days Festival in Floydada was a couple of weeks ago, and the Runningwater Draw Arts and Crafts Festival in Plainview was last weekend. The Assister Pumpkin Ranch just a few miles from Floydada is bursting at the seams with pumpkins of all sizes, shapes and colors! All sure signs that the busiest season of the year has begun!

As if those events are not reminders enough that the longest holiday season is upon us, then a stroll through almost any store will convince you. Shelves are overflowing with Halloween candy and toys, interspersed with yard decorations of scarecrows, ghosts, and goblins. Racks are filled with every conceivable character costume, and there are pumpkins everywhere!

A few steps further along and you will find Thanksgiving centerpieces, tablecloths, napkins, and candles. As you navigate through the store you may find yourself in a winter wonderland — Christmas trees, decorations, ornaments, stockings, and packaged gifts.

Next, you wander into the toy department. Wow, that area has become a foreign land to me! The isles are overflowing with all kinds of electronic gadgets, games, and characters that I have never seen or heard of before! Thank goodness there are a few recognizable things like Barbie dolls, Lego blocks, stuffed teddy bears, and bicycles!

This time of the year is supposed to be a happy time: decorating three different times for three different occasion — Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas; shopping for the perfect gifts for family and friends; donating money, food, and/or gifts to those less fortunate; attending social gatherings, church activities, and family get-togethers; baking, cooking, and cleaning! And, many of us Baby Boomers are still full-time employees working 40 hours a week. How can everything be packed into just over two months? Yes, the New Year — 2018 — is two months and a few days away!

The next two months can be a time of celebration, fun, and joy, or it can be filled with aggravation, frustration, and stress. I used to think I was Superwoman, and I could do it all, and I was able to do it all, but I would end up greeting the New Year feeling totally exhausted and stressed out!

However, a few years ago I realized that I didn’t have to do everything. You can call it getting older or gaining wisdom, but the light came on, and I stopped doing everything! To my surprise the world didn’t come crashing down. In fact, I don’t think anybody even noticed that I had cut back! What was I thinking? For years I had put unreasonable expectations on myself. I had created lots of unnecessary stress.

What have I learned? I have learned to let go of my preconceived notions of what the holidays should be like. As families grow and change, it’s OK for traditions to change. If you are doing something just because that’s the way it’s always been done, it may be time to consider doing something different. I learned that it was time to start some new traditions.

I learned that it is important to set new goals and make plans based on what you want, not on what you think others expect of you. For example, do you really want to prepare the entire Thanksgiving feast like you have done for the past 40 or 50 years, or would you like to let someone else do the cooking this year? I discovered dining out is a perfect way to have a stress-free day — wonderful fellowship, great food, and no clean-up!

Other things that have helped me reduce holiday stress and really enjoy the season include:

Making a priority list, and then marking off some of the least important things

--Setting a budget and sticking to it

--Scheduling time for exercise and relaxation

--Realizing that I don’t have to accept every invitation to social gatherings

--Sharing responsibilities — others are usually eager to help when given the opportunity

--Getting plenty of sleep (I’m still working on this!)

--Eating sensibly, but not punishing myself if I have a second slice of pumpkin pie

--Having a sense of humor — laughter really is good medicine

Ready or not, the longest holiday season has begun! Relax. Enjoy. Start some new traditions — change can be a good thing!

Alice Sawayer is a Licensed Professional Counselor with Central Plains Center’s Integrated Healthcare. She provides counseling at the Covenant Healthcare Center in Plainview. Contact her at alicesawayer@att.net).